Pommie
by Mi-moon
Summary: England is having a rather pleasant day, finishing up his paperwork for the day. Well, that's until a certain American shows up with another just as annoying country to ruin his day. Includes Australia, England and America. Rated for Englands mouth.


**Hello folks!**

I promised this fic ages ago, and it has been lying around unfinished on my computer for a while now, but I finally got around to finish it tonight. I was pretty much stuck, since this is another plotless fic I had no proper ending for. I hope it's okay anyway.

_**Please Enjoy!**_

_**R&R!**_

Ilu guys~ :)

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**Pommie

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*Knock, knock, knock*

Someone was knocking on the door to Englands office. England looked up from the papers he was going through and shot a quick glance towards the door. He wondered who dared to bother him while he was doing paperwork.

"England! Open up! Come on, come on! I have something completely _awesome_ to tell you!" Okay... Now he knew who it was. He sighed and eyed the door before putting away his reading glasses and laying his pen to the side.

"Come on in." He said calmly, kicking his desk lightly with the foot causing his chair to slightly roll backwards. As soon as those words were said the door burst open.

"England! Listen! Listen to this!" America shouted as he excitedly stormed into the room. England flinched slightly as the American slammed his hands onto his desk. _Great... now his paperwork were spread all over the floor... _America didn't care, though.

"You wont believe this! So listen! Listen!" America beamed, demanding attention from the now annoyed Briton. England groaned and massaged his forhead, trying to get rid off the now growing headace.

"I'm listening America! Please share whatever you're so excited about." He said irritated. America ignored Englands sour attitude and sat down on his desk. (Much to Englands annoyence.)

"So! There's this guy! In the hall!" America said dreamily, screaming of excitement. "And, he's like... all awesome!" England watched amased as America told him things about this guy he had met in the hall. He found it amusing how much energy the American had while he jumped around the room, gesturing with his arms. England almost became excited himself. That's the effect America has on you. You just get... uhm... pulled along in his excitement.

"So? What did he look like?" England asked the happy American. America stopped his rampage and turned to England.

"Ah?" He said, too caught up in his own excitement to have understood the Briton exactly.

"Tell me what he looks like." England said, spinning around in his chair. "I might know which country he is. It might not look like it but I was a rather active country when I was younger. So I might know this guy you're so excited about." He said, smirking at America who only tilted his head to the side.

"Eh~?" He said, disbelief written all over his face. "Somehow I can't imagine that." England twitched.

"That's rude! Anyway…" He said irritated. "Back to the topic. What did he look like?" America shone up.

"Ah! Oh yeah!" He said smiling. "He was, like, kind off tall and he had this amazing dark brown hair style and at the front- at the front he had two nantuckets standing straight up from his head! So frickin cool~! Oh! And he was really muscular, as if he had been living in the wild or something~. Erh… I think the color of his clothes was brown or something… And he had this wicked little bear-like thing! I think he said it was called a Koco-something! And he had a tan." America said, eyes shining. England spat out the tea he had in his mouth, chocking voilently. America stared at him and tilted his head. _Old people…_ He thought.

"C-could it be…" England said after he had calmed down. "That the bear-like thing you mentioned is called a… a Koala…?" The look on his face almost begged America to say that wasn't the case, but… well…

"Oh! Yeah! That's it! Coala!" America said smiling. England looked terrified and America noticed. (For once…) "What's up, Iggy? You know this guy?" He asked curiously. England was cold sweating and avvoided Americas' eyes, looking in the opposite direction.

"Kind off…" He said avvoidingly. America blinked a few times before he let his hand hit his palm.

"Now that you mention it…" He said, crossing his arms and stroking his chin with his hand, a thoughtfull look crossing his face. "He did say he was looking for you…" At this, Englands head snapped up. _No… This twit didn't… _"So I brought him here!" America said, smiling, and gestured towards the door. England was up in a second, quickly tucking some things into his little bag. When he was done he turned on one foot and opened the window.

"Whoah-!" Was all America was able to say at Englands quick movments.

"Sorry! Got to go! Something important came up! Don't look for me!" England shouted while he tried to make his escape through the window.

"Wait! Don't-!" America said as he reached out for the Briton. Something quickly dashed past the American and towards England. America gaped. Why was everyone so fast today? England made an "Eep!" sound as strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him into a strong hug. Brown hair… two nuntucks… yeah… this was definitely Australia.

"Pommie!" He shouted hapilly as he hugged the 'Pommie' tightly from behind. England desperately tried to get away from the taller man known as Australia.

"Can't… breath… bloody… hell…!" England coughed as the strong embrace was strangling him. Australia 'Oh'ed and let go of the Briton, laughing sheepishly and rubbing his backhead.

"Sorry 'bout that, Pommie." He said smiling. "It's just~! You haven't been in touch lately and I've been worried about you, Pommie~!" He whined. England sweatdropped and glared halfheartedly at him, troubled expression on his face.

"Pommie…?" America asked, not understanding what it meant or why Australia called England that. Englands green eyes drifted to the American beside his desk.

"Oh, uhm… It's what Australian people calls us Brits. Poms… Pommie… or whatever…" He said sourly. America shone up and opened his mouth to say something. "No! You are not allowed to call me that." England said, voice stern as he pointed warily at the other nation. America closed his mouth again and pouted in a childish way. Australia looked between them and then he smiled.

"Oh! Could this be one those colonies you made just before you sent me away, Pommie?" He asked curiously looking at America.

"Ah… No… This…" England said, carefully eyeing the Australian. America expression changed completely: his eyes becoming somewhat darker and his face turning more serious.

"I'm not Englands colony anymore." He said, England flinching at the coldness in his voice. Australia scratched his head.

"Ah… Is that so?" He asked nonchalantly, not really caring. "Then you're…?"

"I'm the United States of America. One of the greatest nations in the world." He bragged, confidence in his voice. Australia whistled.

"Wow. That's really something dude. Cool." America turned back to his annoying self, smiling stupidly.

"I know, right?" He beamed. England sighed. He really felt like dissappearing right now. And watching the other chitchat he thought that he might be able to do just that! He slowly started sneaking away in the background as the two nations kept on talking.

"Hey! Pommie! Where do you think you're going?" Australia shouted at him, causing England to jump. He slowly turned his head towards them, faking a smile.

"Erh… Bathroom?" He tried, but to no avail. He grunted as he was slammed against the wall, a strong arm pushing against his chest, stealing the air from his lungs.

"Now, now, Pommie… I'm not letting you get away this time…" Australia whispered with a dark voice, smirk across his face. England smirked back, not so confidant, though.

"What're you gonna do about it? Rob me, Mr. Master theif?" He said mockingly. Australia frowned.

"Hey! You were the one who banned me from your country. I didn't do anything."

"Well, that's if you don't count all the crimes you comitted at my place." England said and rolled his eyes. Australias grip on him loosened as he looked at him in a disbeliefing matter.

"I didn't commit any crimes." He said dryly. "I just tossed a few scorpions into your beloved tea once or twice and bombed your house with snakes. I even brought you a kangaru!" He similed, proud of himself.

"…Really?" America asked in awe. "You're awesome." Australia puffed out his chest in pride. England glared at America.

"Don't praise him, you." Then he spun to Australia. "And may I remind you that those scorpions were poisionuss, as were the snakes. Especially the big one that tried to eat me… And I believe your kangaru tried to kill me. It kept boxing me all the time! I thought I would die when you stayed at my house!"

"Aw, Pommie!" Australia beamed and captured Englan in another death-grip hug. "I would never kill you! You're my big brother after all. And we love you, don't you forget that! New Zeeland sends his regards btw." He smiled and winked at England who marely grunted and wriggled free from the hug in response and dusted himself off.

"Yeah, yeah… I know…" There was a silence whichin England avvoided eye contact with Australia who kept beaming and America who tried to puzzle together the other two nations relationship. America gave up and turned his attention to Australia instead.

"So you were, like, a thief?" He asked. Australia gave him a weird look.

"No?" America frowned.

"Then… A criminal?" Australia laughed.

"Not really! It's just Pommie who likes to call me that, because of the thing with his tea and everything." He said and smiled at the suspicious American.

"Oh, okay." America said and smiled.

"Enough with the bullshit." England said irritated and turned both nations attention to him. "Why are you here Aussie? I hope it's not to give me another of those poissonuss monsters. If it's not important, I will ask you, _both of you_," He added, giving America a stern glare. "To leave me the hell alone to finish my paperwork." Australia smirked and leaned closer to England who inched away.

"You know, Pommie… You always call me criminal even though I've never really done anything to you, but this time I'm actually here to do something extremely illegal." England gave him a weird look, as if asking 'are you stupid and on drugs?'. America piped up at this.

"I'm sorry, Australia, dude, but I think I heard you say illegal?" He asked, rubbing his backhead, a nervous smile playing on his lips. Australia looked surpriced up at him for interupting.

"Yeah?" He said. America looked kind off dissapointed at first, but then he puffed out his chest and crossed his arms, a stern look crossing his face.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do anything illegal while I'm around. Since I'm a hero, of course!" He flashed thumbs up before returning to his serious look. "And I can't let anything illegal happen before my nose without jumping in." Australia only smiled.

"Stop acting so serious, git!" England scolded. "I mean what are you? Five years old? Come on!" He was ignored as the other two stared at each other.

"What are you up to, anyway?" America asked, squinting his eyes dangerously.

"Well, you see…" Australia said and grabbed England by his colar, pressing their bodies together much to Englands discomfort. "I'm going to…" Australia blew hot air into Englands ear and he shuddered, clenching his eyes shut. "Steal something from Pommie here." At this Englands eyes snapped open and he glared at Australia.

"Hey! Wait just a minute now-!" But before he could finish, America jerked him out of Australias hold and put himself infront of him in a protective matter. Australia and America smirked at eachother. England was pissed.

"What is your _problem_?" He screeched from behind America. "Why are you both so immature?" He was ignored again. A bad habit both America and Australia had grown.

"Heh, yeah, okay. So, what are you stealing from this old man, anyway?"

"I'm not old!" England shouted. He wasn't fond of being ignored. Not really.

"Don't worry, it's nothing that you would want anyway and I promise Pommie wont complain much after I've stolen it."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. I'm going to protect Iggy from you, whatever you're stealing, got that? And don't worry old man. The hero would never leave his damsel in distress" America smirked at Australia, holding out an arm to separate him from England.

"_Damsel?_ Now listen here, young man-!" Why did he even bother to say anything?

"Now spill. What're you going to steal from Iggy here?" Australia chuckled.

"Isn't that obvious? I'm here to steal his heart." America blinked stupified and England choked on his own saliva.

"_E-excuse me?_" He shrieked. "J-just slow your horses, Aussie. _What_ do you think you're _saying_?" America shoke his head and took a step backwards, closer to England.

"I won't let you have it. Because it doesn't belong to you." Australia raised a also rather thick eyebrow. (He must've gotten them from England…)

"And you're saying it's better off with you?" He asked, mockkingly. England didn't like where this was going… not at all…

"Of course. I'd difinitely say Iggy will be better off with me, a hero, than you." America answered, crossing his arms confidentily. Something devious flashed through Australias' eyes at these words. Englands cheeks were burning up and he just wanted to sink through the ground.

"Oh yeah? Wanna bet… What's your name again?"

"America!" America shouted, insulted. Somewhere Canada laughed triumphantly. 'Take that, America!'

"Right! So, Wanna bet, America?"

"You're on." Both nations smirked at each other. England stared terrified at them. They couldn't be serious. Did they even have an idea of what they just made a bet about?

"First to get into Iggys pants win?" America suggested, raising a finger.

"Let's get this thing going." And they both turned towards England, who stood frozen in his place when the two smirking nations looked at him with a funny look in their eyes. He started staggering backwards as the two slowly crept closer to him. He started shaking his head.

"No… No, no, no, no, no, no, no! No!" He rambled as he backed towards the wall behind him.

"Oh, Iggy~"

"Oh, Pommie~"

All that could be heard was Englands terrified screaming as he ran down the corridor and the shouting for him to wait up from the two nations as they ran after him. As England ran, he remembered about all his paperwork he had forgotten, laying spread on his office floor and he stated that he hated his life.

_2010/08/29__ My Jörgensen _

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_**Gaaah! I'm sorry, I know the ending sucks, but I didn't know what to do with it!**

So yeah... I dunno if it's true that Australians calls Brits Pommies, I just read it somewhere, and if there's an australian out there that feels greatly insulted, I am so sorry! Srsly... As I mentioned before, I started writing this long ago, so it's really bad. I also mentioned in another fic that I would be writing this, although I used to just call it "Australia." Correction. I decided to name it "Pommie" In the end, haha.

The funny thing is as I finished this fic, the Swedish sports new came on, and it was about motocross. So appearently Sweden didn't make it to the final but we came fourth in semi-final or something, I dunno. Anyway! So about the final, this is what the reporters said: And in the final, An American drove past the Briton in the last second and came on first place, the briton following close and the Australian arriving a bit after him. Ah, man! That kind of cracked me up! I can totally imagine the nation going motocrossing and America beating Iggy just in the last second! Oh, I would pay to see Englands scowl after that.

And it was rather amusing that I was writing about just those three nations when they came on TV, huh.

Anyway, I hope you don't think this is crap and I would be glad if you _**rewieved!**_

_**Owari...**_


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